Covid Movie Reviews

2022-08-03

What do you do when you have Covid and are stuck in the basement for three weeks? Take Paxlovid and watch movies obviously.

Blade Runner The Final Cut

2/5 tears in the rain

I get why this is a classic: every sci-fi movie since has been influenced by it. But the plot is thin, the soundtrack is annoying and it so very slow in that late-70s/early-80s sci-fi way.

Blade Runner 2049

1049/2049

This was unnecessary. Too long, too boring, too much Leto, but very pretty. Glad Dennis got a chance to workshop all his Dune shots though.

Gladiator

👍🏻

Hans Zimmer goes so hard on this soundtrack. And then straight up copies Holst. So weird. Good movie though.

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

5/5

This is easily the best DCEU movie. Everyone is pitch perfect, but Margot Robbie really acts the shit out of this movie. Warners: make this the cornerstone of the franchise. I don’t care about Batman.

Suicide Squad

0

What the fuck was this. No, really what the hell happened?

Justice League Zack

35/52

After Suicide Squad, and having previously seen Justice League Joss I had no hope for this but it was decent. Was it worth four hours? No. Is Zack a douche for insisting on 4:3? Yes.

Sully

2/155

Fuck you Clint and your bullshit revisionist history. You hate the government so much that you you have to make the NTSB the bad guys? Even real Sully disowned this crap. Little Tommy Hanks does great though. Pair him with a competent director and that kid is going places.

The Dark Knight Rises

1/4 Robins

Missed this when it came out, not sad about it. We get it Christopher: you’re a very clever boy. Now make a fucking movie with no surprise twists, a straightforward plot and dialog understandable by actual humans (and don’t give the bad equipment excuse: I watched this in Atmos with nine goddamn speakers, some larger then children). I just know we’re going to find out the Oppenheimer was actually the bomb the whole time. Fuck me.